Th last time i felt this tired, was probably during Math class in Secondary school where i had t force my eyes open or i'd just drop dead a second later and sleep for 13 hours straight. Exact feeling of when i was getting my hair and makeup done for my shoot today. I was in th studio from about 2.50pm-8pm. But it was fun, and i liked th outcome.
Anw, i just felt like i should state a few basic facts about me.
Firstly,
t people who chat with me on Facebook, im sorry i can't reply t everybody. Most of th times, i only reply t people whom i know. I appreciate it when strangers ask me 'how are you' or 'how's your day', but im sorry i can't entertain every chat box because im always set t appear online, but im seldom even online. And also because that conversation would probably go nowhere.
Secondly,
if you do not chat with me at all, and suddenly chat me up one day or ask me for a favour. Do not even bother. By favour, i don't mean asking me t 'like' a page/picture because those are minute favours i would definitely help. Im talking about personal favours.
Last but not least,
i've met A LOT of people who've backstabbed me befr. Esp coming from a girls' school, some girls are just generally jealous and bitchy. Period. An analogy if i may share, an enemy who basically made MY life th highlight of HER life throughout her school years because everything i said or did would automatically trigger a negative response from her. A situation where she would do almost anything t be a model, and so when i started off modeling at 15, that definitely triggered mass negativity from her. Discriminating and doubting my ability t model, hence bitching and backstabbing. At that time, it did affect me without a doubt. Because it was developing into my passion, and when you don't have enough self-confidence t armour your passion, it could falter with th slightest words personified as weapons. Looking back on it right now, at this very moment. It would be more than a pleasure for me t go right up t her face and say 'IN YOUR FACE BITCH'. BUT i never believe in that, because i've worked hard for where i am and anybody can achieve what they set their mind t, honestly. Though this sounds like a bunch of cliche shit. And revenge like this is shitty and just not worth it. Anw, that's not th point.
My point is, today i received a really shallow(offence intended)rhetorical question on Formspring regarding my personal life. Im definitely proud of myself that this kinda shit doesn't get t me th way it used t when i was 15. Because its a huge thing for me t realise that negative comments from people do not bring me down. I know myself well. In fact, im th only person who knows me th best. I have my morals, my limits, my believes. And what you say t disrespect it, i don't care. What i care about, is th fact that i won't stop believing in myself and what i do, regardless of what anonymous people and haters may have t say. Because those words, don't matter t me. I've come a long way from th person i used t be, th person who did not believe in herself, extreme low self-confidence and crumble by th words of people who don't matter in my life. Right now, i love myself and believe in myself/what i do too much t let words even get into me, let alone affect me.
Though this is out of point, i guess we all find comfort in our passion and even learn stuff about ourselves from it. And once you've built yourself up t someone of more strength, nobody can tear your passion down. Because its what makes you, you.
I suppose this is just my two cents worth arising from th question i received. Random, yes. But i just felt like blogging about smth that might help in one's self-confidence.
Well then, im off t start packing for my first destination this Saturday - Bangkok!
Goodnight world x
No comments:
Post a Comment