what a night

its 8.10am and i just got home. my night was fuckvshgnbsd. 

Reached CQ at 11, had t use a payphone, writing down numbers on a paper with my eyeliner like some dumb fuck, what happens when you don't have a phone. Headed t Le Noir then Attica as usual. Talked t Seb! But he's leaving :( So Attica was awesome as usual.

Went out t smoke, and saw my ex boyfriend, bleeding profusely outside th club. Brought him t th washroom and i really didn't know what t do, th whole handicap toilet was filled with blood like literally. Iqbal, Asvind and Nancy called an ambulance but only one person could follow so i went. We reached SGH and he ran away so i had t chase him in fucking heels, waited till th rest came. Blah blah such a bloody experience and shit. Obviously im in no mood t blog but i just want t befr i fall asleep. My whole legs had blood and i walked around CQ as if i had excessive period flow wtf.

Well idc that my night was wasted, that i didn't get t party, t whatever. But a few things really piss me off. Firstly, my ex started saying it was my fault for what happened, th fact that i didn't care and all that shit. And it really pisses me because for one, i did not know he was gonna be there and th last time we contacted was at least 3 days ago. Fyi, i don't have a phone. So how was such an incident my fault.

And even that, isn't that bad. I left th club, all th people i was partying with, my whole night, t help an EX. I sacrificed my time, people looking at me like some freak, wasting my energy trying t find out what happened, t advice etc. When i could've just ignored him at th club since he didn't see me, when i could've went back t th club after th ambulance arrived instead of following, when i could've went home instead of staying and consoling, and waiting. And in th end it all boils down t me, t it being my fault that what happened, happened. As if i had anything t do with it. That he did that because i don't care for him anymore. That after helping a friend because i want t, i come home and get scolding from my mum for lying.

I guess its like you gotta ignore what people say and know that as long as you did good, its all fine. But even that reaches a point. And its just not fair anymore. Give me one fucking good reason why i should be nice anymore. And do not give me an excuse of intoxication because just for th record, i was intoxicated tonight, and even that didn't stop me from trying my best t help. Even though i had oth things t worry about, and oth people t entertain.

Anw, i just wanna say thank you t #iqbal-my-gay-slut for following and being there for me. You're truly a nice person and im gonna miss you when i leave Singapore and you being shipped off t Pulau Tekong or wherever. Anyways i love you <3

too much drama larh omg.