This is th last time im gonna cry, over any fuckin thing.
I had th most fucked up 20 mins sleep this morning i don't even wanna blog about it. All i can say is that i woke up almost running out from my room. It's so scary. Not exactly my dream. But th fact that i don't even know what's real anymore. Literally. I layed down for another 20 mins trying t convince myself that it was a dream. Or it wasn't. Evidently im not affected by th fuckin' dream itself. Im stirred by th fact that it was a dream about a dream that i kept trying t wake up from and when i really woke up everything just felt so real. Fuck it, i said im not gonna even blog about this shit.
Im glad i managed t fall asleep after that bc i really needed t. However im afraid that falling asleep without any help is pretty far fetched for me right now. And my medicine is finishing. Im starting t think that i prefer being not sober all th time. And im just too much wont t it.
Right now, i've reassured myself that i really wanna be by myself. Idk why that shit is still haunting me. It's been probably a good 2 months or more. Aside from that which is totally not related t what im gonna blog about, i think im too accustomed t my believe that when you're no longer with someone, whatever and i really mean whatever they say really doesn't matter anymore. I guess it probably should, but i've programmed my mind t think that i shouldn't.
Im really not in th state t blog right now. Im not in th state t do anything at all. Who am i kidding, this is not th last time im gonna cry. I just need t sleep. Now.
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