Airport

I woke up befr 1pm! So anw just a random thought, i was thinking of making an event page on Facebook t ask people t come t th airport on th 10th t send me off. I mean people whom i know and are close t, not my whole frigging facebook. Should i head out tonighttt, so confusing haha. Okay i gotta go shower now.

long hair

#can't sleep. im starting t think im addicted t clubbing(if there's such an occurrence) because my nights spent doing anything oth than clubbing, i could die of boredom. Plus i can't even sleep which makes it a whole lot worse. I could really use some food right now but my bro's friends' are in th living room and i don't wanna go outta my room for that matter. So i guess i should just stfu and sleep. Anw i can't wait for H&M opening this Saturday omg so #exciting. I got a whole list of stuff i need t buy befr i go away, so i guess its an excuse for me t shop like crazy.

Im so confused and discombobulated with my well, relationship status right now. Those who know me well enough and party with me should know who this refers t. If you follow up with my blog posts, you may have remembered me saying im confused about stuff and would blog about it soon. That post was probably circa last month. And only today, have i decided t try t blog about it. However, i still can't. I just have no idea on what t type, really. Its just so weird and uncertain that even i, though part of it, can't comment on it. Its so dumb. Im dumb. Idk why im still giving attention t th whole situation though i know very well i shouldn't. But just t reassure, im single and unavailable. And its gonna stay that way for quite awhile now. 

Im officially.... growing my hair! Well not really just abit for Tokyo. I'll probably shave it once im back haha. I suppose short hair signifies me more.

vs.

Bangkok Shopping omgz!

Just got back from my meeting and im even happier now! Just got th contract form for Supermodel of Asia Pacific 2011 held in Bangkok. So basically i have until 10 Sept in Singapore befr i leave for th rest of th month t Bangkok and Milan for Look of th Year 2011. After which im most probably going t Tokyo for Supermodel of Asia and Shenzhen, China for Miss Model of th World 2011 which would basically take up my whole November.

Well i just tweeted(yes i have twitter!) th fact that im one step closer t my dream of travelling th world while doing smth i truly have a passion for. And i couldn't ask for more, really. It kinda feels surreal t th extent that it all hasn't sunk into me yet. Im more than elated and so greatly for a one in a million opportunity that i never thought i would be given, ever. I guess th only thing i could do t show it right now is work my fucking hardest t represent Singapore and bring back titles. Because i believe if i don't set my mind t it, i won't be able t do it and its as good as throwing away an opportunity like this. Im not gonna let myself do that, nor get distracted. I wouldn't say that im lucky because i think i've worked hard t get t where i am right now, but most importantly its cause of th people around me.

And no matter what, im still th down t earth, ghetto person(#iqbal would know) and nothing's gonna get th better of me. Because i love and appreciate life too much t let it waste away.

Lastly, Selamat Hari Raya t all those celebrating. Enjoy today and all th food! :)

Random things:

-please follow me on twitter @petrinAnn

im really late but better late than never haha

-t those who liked my facebook fan page, thank you! im sorry it hasn't been done up yet. Im waiting for more pictures from shoots t upload, mass invite and make it official. So its really boring now, but don't unlike! hahahaha.

@Nessa - thanks for dinner love, we must go back for th cake and smarties ice cream next time! And prepare shopping list hehe! love you <3

And random picture haha ok bye.

New Paper

Grab a copy of The New Paper today cause im in ittt!

I watched Final Destination 5 last night and it was surprisingly good. I expected it t be th same old boring shit given so many similar parts befr 5. Its just like Saw, how every part is th same but you just keep watching it cause its gruesome and gory and awesome. Hahahah. But yeah, i do recommend watching Final Destination 5. So im deciding on whether i should go t th doctors' for my cough because its killing me. Last night i coughed till i puked and i couldn't fall asleep until like 1 hour later cause i kept coughing. And th only thing i think of when i cough is th fact that my alveoli are bursting hahahaha bio.

So well im getting used t th fact that i don't have a phone temporarily, because i mean i've been on th laptop my whole waking hours since i lost my phone, so im not exactly socially extinct since there's Facebook. I wanna wait for iPhone 5, but i want an iPhone befr i leave for Italy. So annoying. We'll see.

I gotta get a few stuff done today, and probably party at night hahaha so chiao.

Ms Singapore Beauty Pageant 2011

Since im so lost without my phone(left my phone in a cab) :( , i decided t blog.

Yesterday was th Grand Finals for Ms Singapore Beauty Pageant 2011. It was so tiring, i slept for 1 hour befr waking up and getting ready t head down t Hotel Intercontinental for rehearsals at 10.30am. I got there and almost fell asleep because im having th worse cough ever, since th oth day. Plus im on th verge of losing my voice(yes my voice is husky now!) So got t rehearsals all th way t 3pm! After which, i was really looking forward t eat because i hadn't eaten since th day befr yesterday. However i decided i should get my hair and make up done first. Got it done, coincidentally by th MUA's who did my makeup for 'Model for Hope Fashion Show' @ Zouk on Friday. After that i spent a good whole hour in th toilet improvising on my makeup, concealing my tattoo and changing t th first outfit which was a white dress. Sakti bought a McChicken for me(thanks babe i have yet t pay you for it!) hahah. Went through th 15 questions we were given t prepare. I didn't even get it last week therefore yesterday was th first time i got t look at it all. Pretty alright, was kinda worried since QnA isn't exactly my forte.

Its just th thing everybody keeps asking, 'what's th difference between modeling and pageantry?' Its a hell lot different. For one, i am definitely not used t smiling so much, or even just smiling for that matter. And when i joined this pageant, my smiling exceeded its quota i swear. Also th walks, well it all does depend on what we wear too anyway. And most importantly it would definitely be th Question and Answer Segment. In runway modeling, all we do is walk, sell th clothes whereas in pageants, we have t speak on stage. Not my forte! Which was also th reason why i joined this pageant. Being th first one im in, given 4 years of modeling background, i wanted t experience what a pageant is like. I mean, you gotta admit its not one bit easy t do what beauty queens do. And for one, i definitely joined it because i wanted t challenge myself with th QnA segment. 

So back t where i was, so after scanning through th question paper, i just relaxed and did my usual 'meditation stuff' befr shows. Hahahah. And at 8pm, it was showtime! So first segment we wore a white dress, and danced t Sweet Dreams in several groups. Next was th ever challenging bikini! Did our formation thingy, and th next was Fashion segment which was my favourite. That was also when they announced Top 10. So Top 10, which includes me stayed on stage for QnA. I picked envelope number 2 since i've always liked that number and my question was, 'In what point does a girl become a woman'. I didn't stutter, and nor was i freaking out. Because i guess im good with these kinda questions, like opinion based kinds. and not questions like 'Who dyou think should win presidency?' Hahahah. So well i said smth like 'a girl becomes a woman when she accepts herself for who she truly is with grace and poise, and acquire th thought of her flaws being a beautiful part of her since nobody is perfect'. Im so glad i breezed through it without blanking out on stage or smth. So i left th stage and heaved a motherfucking huge sigh of relief th second i stepped outta th door. And then started exercising my jaw because it was so cramped from smiling hahahah. Which reminds me of th first segment where i was standing with Sreeveena and doing mouth exercises. Anw lastly, i changed into th gown, went in for th subsidiary awards where i won 'Ms Facebook Friendship 2011' and 'Ms Photogenic 2011'. We exited after and proceeded back on stage about 10 mins later for th announcement of th Top 5 main titles. Which was and is definitely one of th happiest and proudest moments of my life when i won 'The Look Of The Year Singapore 2011' - one of th 5 main titles. This would mean that im flying off t Milan, Italy t compete in Elite Look Of The Year representing Singapore. And i guess for some, that could only be as far as a dream but it became reality for me. I guess th thought of it haven't really sank into me yet, because its still unbelievable and at 18 years old, its definitely th best offer i got in life so far.

Obviously, i wouldn't have been able t achieve anything if not for people in my life.

On a public note, i wanna thank every single person who liked my picture on Facebook eventhough i've been annoyingly sending mass invite t th event page and sharing it continuously. Even i found myself annoying. Regardless of whether yknow me or i know you personally or not, i really appreciate th support and countless encouragements. I always believed that there's only so much one can do but there's so much more we can achieve with encouragements. Words go a long way, no matter how non-impactful it may seem. I guess its just an emotional thing. So thank you so much t everybody on my Facebook! :)

On a formal note, i wanna thank Mr. Alex Liu - National Director of ERM for an opportunity one could only dream of, Ms Tracy Lee for being stringent and disciplining me whenever i lost slight hope in seeing myself with a title and also th reigning Mrs Singapore World 2011 - Vanessa Tan for th Grooming sessions where i learnt a hell lot about pageantry. I definitely brought back so much from it.

Last but not least, on a personal note, i wanna thank my parents, and all my close friends. Thank you so much for encouraging me sincerely when i really need it, and believing so much in my modeling career.

Also t all th contestants, esp Shirley, Sreeveena, Agnes, Jean, Marcella and Sakti. Every girl shone in their own light :)

Well, im glad i got this load of my back but as this chapter closes, i begin a new one very soon. But for now, i need rest and a few days of waking up late!

i am confused, tired and left with 1 and a half hour t sleep.

Goodnight world x

Cherry.

I typed a whole paragraph and lost it thanks t my internet connection, annoying. Anw, partied at Le Noir/Attica last night which was pretty impromptu. So i went straight after rehearsals and i was wearing a loose shirt, leggings, doc marts and carrying a huge ass bag with my portfolio and heels. Super underdressed. But fuck that my night was still awesome. Crashed at a friend's place after eating my prata @Spice hahaha. Only got home at 9 in th morning today. I hate that feeling of being hungover, and watching th sun rise as people go t work, all set for a brand new day while on th oth hand, im all stoned and lifeless, making my way home with th ever so handy shades that does wonders in hiding all expressions. Crashed th moment i got home and woke up at 4.55pm t realise i had blood on my shirt hahaha. And no, not anything else. It was actually from a tiny cut on my leg which bled relatively alot last night for some reason(ok maybe cause i was scratching it). So i slothed off and finally had my shower. What a useless day, but yeah i really needed this. 

Well yesterday, we went t Le Noir at about 1 plus, gulped down alcohol t accomplish our aim of getting drunk. Went out for a smoke, when some man from Pennsylvania offered t buy a drink which i really didn't want cause i was already reaching my maximum alcohol intake t get drunk. So i just sat at th bar anyways cause i wanted t steal th cherries there which i did hahaha how nice are cherries! And he started talking shit and forcing me t go home with him, be his girlfriend and what not. After rejecting a couple of times, he said he loved me(haha yes after talking t me for a good whole erm, 10 mins?) and would pay me t go out with him. And started babbling about how he would take me out t some restaurant at Holland Village for Scallops and Caviar. And went on t tell me his monthly income(wtf?) and 3-storey bungalow. And so it got me thinking how some people think that money can buy anything. Maybe for some people yes, but not me. Definitely. I mean why relate money t love. Its like putting a price on love and from what i believe, shouldn't love be a priceless emotive? Sure, its tempting i wouldn't deny but why is everything just about money and sex. Its smth so shallow yet so many people get drowned in these temptations. Well i guess that's just my two cents worth. Who am i t challenge a topic so personal and a perspective of thousands. But i suppose we're all entitled t self opinions - cliched statement yes.

Cherries! Picture courtesy of Karmillah.

Random pictures from Titan Fall/Winter watch Show 2011

'like' my picture on Facebook!

As usual, im blogging at night befr i go t sleep after a really tiring day. 

Today, i was up at 8am. Got ready for my shoot, was pretty casual since its more of a lifestyle shoot. My category was supposed t be 'beauty is feeling confident and good about yourself' under Health Promotion Board kinda thing if you can see where its going. So its basically gonna be out at busstops/MRT stations soon, so look out for a picture of me SMILING. hahahah.

My shoot ended early so i went home first t redo my makeup for th later show since i didn't quite like th makeup done earlier at th shoot. I mean it was perfect for th shoot, but not for my show. From being early, i actually ended up late because Shangri-La Hotel is so far in. Had rehearsals, th usuals. Met Nessa for lunch at Ion, then headed back t sleep backstage for awhile since my phone battery was dying too(somebody do smth about iPhone battteries for god's sake!) We had 4 changes and i had 6 watches altogether. Th show was really fun actually. After which, i was so looking forward t go home and so were th oth models. But as we exited, we came across th B.A.R. Hahah so drank a glass of wine, and decided we should just chill there for awhile. So we did, chilled out and drank. Till it ended up that us models were th last ones t leave from that event. Overall a good day i would say. But yes, tiring. It is definitely hardwork so t people who perceive models as people who earn money for nothing, screw you.

So im home, just wrote down my schedule for tmrw and as usual, it took up a whole page of th planner, yet again. No kidding, been this way since Monday. Because tmrw i have 2 castings, 2 fittings, Slimming Session(!), Ms Singapore Rehearsals and a test shoot. So my day starts off at 8am and ends at 10pm :( Was planning t party after that, but idk.

Im probably not gonna sleep now, but very soon definitely.

Rebecca Black's Friday - #epitome of my emotions currently.

T th awesome people who read my blog(though my blog sucks because im not a blogger), please help me 'like' my Ms Singapore picture on Facebook and even get your friends t like it. Its just until this Friday so i'd really appreciate it if i can just get a few more likes. And t those who have already liked it, thank you very much :)

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=258605044156186 - click t get instructions on how t like my picture! xx

Till i blog again which would probably be tmrw, chiao.

#fml i haven't even fell asleep and its 4.10am.

Tuesday

Rehearsals was pretty fun today, just slacked around. And learnt th dance because i didn't go for rehearsal on Sunday. And its been ages since i went t a dance studio t dance, so Secondary school. Im so annoyed with iPhone battery life i swear. So anw i gotta wake up at 8am tmrw for my shoot and rehearsals for Titan fall/winter watch show at 1.30pm. When th show is only at 8.45pm and 9.30pm. But i guess it'll be fun since its at Sangri-La Hotel which is located around Orchard.

So while i was in th bus today, i suddenly thought of how i've been focussing so much on modeling and being so occupied with it, that i've totally forgotten relationships. I've always thought that its not important t me anymore(not that i don't now), but its just that weird feeling that strikes you suddenly and you think about how at th end of your day, being tired and all and not receiving a text from someone who would make you smile. Well its just some passing feeling thing, that certainly doesn't change my perception on how my passion is more essential then relationships and what not.

I have like th worst cough ever its so annoying. And i have this fear on how whenever i do shows i suddenly need t start coughing on th runway or smth. Hahahah. And its 3am now i should probably get t sleep, t wake up t a day that's gonna wear me out all over again. BUT, its worth it. 

Goodnight world x

Sleeping in buses

After about 20 snoozes on my 4 alarms this morning, i forced myself outta bed t get ready and look presentable for my first casting when i received a text that said th casting is rescheduled for Wednesday. #fml. Im so sleepy i could die any moment, but i can't because my schedule for today(and rest of th week!) is so packed. Got my SupermodelMe Season 3 Interview with th Host at 3pm, rush off t another casting straight after(thank god its just one stop away), and then rush for another casting at 5pm. Then a Fitting at 6pm, and rush all th way down t Balestier for Ms Singapore Rehearsals at 6.30 all th way till 10. And then tmrw i gotta be up super early for my Health Promotion Board Shoot, and after which rush off t a job - Titan Watch Show which would probably last th whole day. And no im not moving on t my schedule for Wednesday because its so tiring.

random picture while i wait for my dad t pick me up for my Interview.

#FML

Gulping down gallons of Vitamin water and trying t sleep because i feel like puking with a major hangover fml :(

Pressure

Lately i've been kinda disheartened with everything, everything meaning my job. And im so close t giving up. But i won't! Because its pretty dumb t do that. People start criticizing you for how you do what you do without thoughts of whether their words might affect you. I guess constructive criticisms are a good thing, honestly. But at certain points in life, like currently for myself, nothing major happens but a few drawbacks and it just makes you feel down, really down. And you comtemplate about every single thing, even ones you were once excited for. I guess its definitely not easy t hold your head up high despite whatever that's going on. Personally, its just too much pressure on me/for me right now. Im really trying my best t be professional and keep telling myself t do my best in everything. But its not easy at all, not one bit. Its so hard because regardless of what i've been through, its those times where you start doubting yourself in everything that you do. Doubting yourself even in your passion, in what you love and enjoy doing. Its not easy t make it in th industry that im in. Th only way is t never stop believing in yourself and what you can achieve. And t be really, really thick-skinned and never ever let words get th better of you regardless of who it's from. But its not easy doing that, its not easy following your believes and ignoring negative parts of th rest of it because encouragement brings you up. Im not asking for encouragement but i guess its true that whenever someone encourages you, you instantly feel much better.

Its a tough industry where every single soul would kill t make it, hence i suppose i should never stop believing in myself either.

(continued)

th alignment is my previous post is really shitty but bear with it im too lazy and i have no time.

Here, is prove that im not making up anything and that im really not th bitch in this(in form of screenshots below) Just for th record, i spent half an hour last night, even though i was enjoying myself and booze, t advice Issac about th whole problem. And i can easily swear upon my whole life that eventhough i fucking hate that bitch, i told Issac t do what's best for him. Sometimes, its not possible t get everything you want. You have t let go of smth. In this case, Issac gotta choose between his gf or his friends. When i say his friends, im not referring t me. Im referring t his oth guy friends whom he had known since childhood. And t be able t do that, you gotta evaluate what's gonna be best for you. His girlfriend mum hates him, he told me he doesn't see himself marrying her, she doesn't treat him right. So why waste all your energy t try and save a relationship that is going no where? It just makes not sense t me, but i guess when you're in love its a totally different story. In my opinion, th only reason Issac is holding on t it, is because he can't let go, can't cope with th change. Of not hanging out anymore, texting, calling, etc. Or at least he THINKS he can't. I know how that feels, im not saying i know everything or im some love guru, but im sure we all have personal experiences ourselves. Th thing is, Issac is not sure what he wants. And when that's th case, it just gets a whole lot worst and hurtful. For instance, if i know i want t break up with my boyfriend because i choose my friends, my life not being controlled, me being able t live my teenage years, then that itself is my stand. I know what i want, and no matter what ANYBODY says, regardless of whether im blinded in love with that person, deep down i know what i want. And when that's th case, i'll set my mind t it. I guess not everybody sees it th same way. I guess 't each its own'. Its only my two cents worth.

I just made 2 blog posts about a relationship that im not even part of. However, im not being a fucking nosy bitch or a busy body who's concerned with oth peoples' affairs in this. Th only reason im blogging about all this, is because that motherfuckin bitch unnecessarily dragged me into th whole situation. And since im at th bottom pit of th problem right now, im not going t sit there and let her bury me. Since i've been dragged into it, i will with honour be part of this fucking shit.

 

 

Screenshot

Bitch can't get enough of me idk why. Yeah im talking about a girl (i would totally disclose her name but i don't even know it, moreover care t know) who's been well, a pathetic bitch. I blogged about our previous encounter in an earlier post. And today, i got screenshots! Reason being for me not uploading it on Facebook, is due t th similar reason of strangers misjudging. Because i don't want people who have no clue about th whole situation, t comment and think im a bitch.

Basically, here's a brief summary on why it all happened. Issac is my friend of 5 years, yes let me bold up th word friend. Along came a little bitch, aka Issac's girlfriend. Since idk her name, im going t name her CF(for cock face) I have never ONCE in th entire time come in th way between them because i care for Issac, YES AS A FRIEND. And his well-being and happiness in that relationship matters. Issac is VERY soft-hearted and as always like people in relationships, he was blinded by love. So when CF asked him t stop contacting me and his oth friends, who were guys btw. He did. After a month or 2, Issac asked his cousin for my number t start contacting me again. Highlight - i did NOT come in th way of their relationship th whole time. So Issac and i started contacting and hanging out like how we used t. Unfortunately, CF has major issues with that. Reason being? I don't know. So that's when th whole problem started.

Yknow how third parties get involved in a relationship because they WANT t come in between 2 people in love? In this case, i am being dragged into th exact situation, where CF thinks i am that slut third party who is trying t steal Issac away from her pussy. What she doesn't see is, i did NOT come into their picture/story. SHE came into Issac and my friendship with him. And i get dragged into it, how does that make sense?

NOTE: i hate arguing with people for problems i am firstly, not part of and secondly, something that really does not concern nor interest me. It is a waste of my really, really precious time because i am not a minah, no where close in fact. If i am at fault, by all means, be a bitch t me and find trouble, i can't do anything. But when it is NOT my fucking fault, do not fucking push me. I let it go once, because i had alot of things going on, and arguing about it would not change anything. But she pushed it too far this time.

She is older than me, but i am motherfuckin confident enough t say that i beat her maturity level hands down t th core of her blady brains. Oh wait, what brains? Bitch. I mean will arguing with me make th whole situation better? Obviously not. So when th result of what she's doing not aid her situation in any way, why th fuck do it? Im so curious, really. Is it just me, or is she just that fucking dumb t not see it? Yeah, its obviously not just me. Call me a bitch, a whore whatever. As long as i know who i truly am, i will stand up for what i believe in. If th problem was caused because it was solely my fault, i'd apologise without retaliating. Im not just saying this, im saying it because i know i will never come in between 2 people who love each oth. Why would i do that when i love Issac as my friend, yes FRIEND nothing more.

Last Week(part of our convo) -

Today -

 

 

 

 

 

Cb i made a shit ass long post th oth day and now its gone.

Drama

I've been wanting t blog, but i haven't exactly had th time t, or mood for that matter.

A day ago, 2 people annoyed th shit outta me. And yes, im allowed t complain about it because for one, i did not start anything. But being in my position, my network on facebook is rather large and th moment someone sees me 'being a bitch' just cause i retaliated t an argument with someone whom i have argued with befr(not publicly on fb where people can see), people think im arrogant and snobbish, and everything else bad. Come one, anybody would rebut t something they're not happy about. As cliche as this sounds, people are always telling you t be yourself. But when you do, you're fucking misjudged. And then they say so what if people hate you. True that, but in certain industries, its just not th way. When someone hates you, they hate you forever and your reputation gets tarnished ever so slightly, which still matters. Well, im not upset about th fact that i can't and don't want t carry on an argument publicly on my facebook status. Honestly, i really don't care what people think. But im doing this for myself. For th fact that i know im in th right, so why should i argue continuously when me and th oth party involved know that we're not gonna give up, that we know we are in th right. So why not i just be th mature one t call it quits. I don't understand why in every argument over smth, th moment you stop because you want t be th more mature one, th oth party immediately associates th whole argument t be a win-lose situation, where they win because i 'gave up'. Seriously? 

What's done is done, and its over as far as im concerned. But if i don't say what im about t say, im not speaking up for myself, hence not being who i am. And i always believed in being who you are, regardless of what people say. Now now, i know this may sound contradictory t what i just mentioned about, but its cause this is about my personal life, and no way can it affect me in any industry, esp th one i am in right now. So yes, back t th beginning.

JOSH GE - if you ever read this(i really hope that you do), you're a class A loser. I could honestly start a petition and easily get min. 20 people who dislike or rather hate you t join it. And no, do not challenge me t do it because it is a motherfucking example on how you're hated. Yes i know you say you're being yourself and if people don't like it its not your fault. But wake up dude, you bring annoyance t a whole new level. Actually, this paragraph is not t target you in any particular way, because im done telling you off about all th things you lie and boast about. And its not nice for me t state it all here, i don't have a purpose t. Even our argument th other day, i left it all behind. If you claim that you 'won', so be it. Because you think its a competition, be that way. So im assuring you that this is NOT a hate message. Th beginning part is just t clarify stuff. Because strangers who read my blog are gonna misjudge me for being a bitch who singled you out on my blog and bitched about you. This is th world we live in, i can't change that, but i can reassure. So back t my initial point on why you are a loser - DO NOT FUCKING GO AROUND TELLING PEOPLE THAT WE - WE BEING ME AND YOU HOOKED UP BEFR. You lie a hell lot, but we hooking up, for real? You actually went t that extent? Please realise that i would never in a million years hook up with you, even if you were th last male specie on Earth. I swear upon my life, really. I thought you brought annoyance t a whole new level. Guess i left out being a loser. Damn.

T th public - i don't think i need t apologise for whatsoever. Because this is MY personal life. And im not happy with people going around saying i had sex with them. So please do not come t me and say that this blog post is making me look bad as a person. I really do appreciate it, but i gotta clarify what's part of MY life.

Today, my day was perfect. Until Issac's girlfriend called me. Oh wait, i mean ex-girlfriend. Well, i don't blame any girl for being a little insecure that their boyfriend contacts another girl. I guess its human nature. But damn, this girl is a mega jealous bitch i must say. She called me, demanding how i got Issac's number. Because befr they broke up, she forced him t cut contacts with me. And now, we just started contacting back. So obviously, i had no obligation t tell her how i got his number. I mean would telling that reduce her jealousy? I didn't think so. So she started getting all feisty and scolding me, asking me t stay away from Issac. So calmly, i asked her. How long dyou know Issac for? She replied few months. And then i said dyou know how long i've known him for? Obviously she knew, because apparently she knows everything about me, probably even my IC number. But she refused t reply, and started calling me stuff like a prostitute and words bitches use when they're upset. Seriously? I just talked t my friend of 5 years, where i definitely have th right t, and im a whore for that? I guess im kinda used t all of this, because its not th first time. Again, i initiated a stop t it. Because no offence, but i really can't stand how 'minahs' roll. They go all gangsterish and urggh, just lowly classed imbeciles. And they think th whole world is afraid of them, when people just really can't be bothered t get involved in THEIR problems. So back t this bitch, she still wasn't satisfied and started texting me. Calling me a low class bitch, again when i didn't do anything. So i replied saying that she really doesn't wanna compare our standards and told her not t reply because im not so childish t argue about this jealousy thing when its her insecurity that's eating her up while she's just taking it out on me. And then she replied saying, 'wadeva..U n0t happy u come face me..I d0n fight on phone la eh!' Seriously, doesn't just looking at th way its typed annoy th fuck outta you. And i honestly don't get it because in that statement, she contradicted herself twice. Firstly, why would i not be happy? I mean th fight started because SHE was unhappy with me, no? I was enjoying a perfect day and even that didn't stop me from being happy. Secondly, she doesn't fight on th phone, but she called me AND texted after that. I replied asking her t find me if she isn't happy with me. I mean she is having all th problems after all am i right. And her reply, th most typical yet. Thinking words from a girl like her would actually bring me down, 'yaya..find u at geylang ah.hahaha!stupid!u wanna c0mpare on standard..kla u m0re standard than me la k.c0s u suck many guy dick!haha..anyh0w suck.L0l.' Come onnnn omg is calling a girl a prostitute th only way t bring her down? I don't even get how everything she said is in relation t her initial purpose of being unhappy with me, which btw, is th fact that she is an insecure and jealous girl, with really low self-esteem as she is afraid she could lose Issac anytime. And for that, she has trust issues too, which all boils back down t being insecure. So woman, why take it out on me damn. 

I thought after i left Secondary school, all this girl fights would stop (yes because i was from a girls' school) but boy was i wrong. Th real world is equally as bad.

I guess th only thing i can do is, stay true t myself, and as long as i haven't done anything wrong, its all good. I have so many things ahead of me im really excited about, and im focussing all of my energy and time on it right now. Im not getting caught up in oth peoples' problems, nor am i letting them drag me into their problems. Whenever this kinda shit happens at th time where i've got t prepare for many important stuff coming my way like all my competitions and finals in modelling. I tell myself that God's giving me a challenge t see how well i handle and juggle everything around me. And up t right now, im confident t say that im handling everything pretty well.

And with that, i just wanna say thank you t those people who've been there for me, encouraging me and cheering me up when shit happens. Be it my friends, or even just my friends on facebook, thank you so much. I really appreciate it (: Because amidst all th people i meet who would kill t bring me down, i know there are still nice people left.

Happy Birthday Singapore!

Met Nessa for dinner yesterday evening. We went t some Japanese restaurant in Ion and that was my first time eating Japanese food haha. I ate some Shio Ramen or whatever you call it, th menu just looks too confusing. I just had a random thought, on why i didn't take a picture of my food and upload it here with this post like what most bloggers do hahaha. So after that we walked around and went down t Somerset, tried on ugly clothes at Forever 21. I never knew th clothes there are really cheap because i've never been a fan of F21. OH i saw a studded pair of boots at Steve Madden OMFG i need t get it, anybody wanna sponsor me please contact me! Hahahah. Ok then we decided t head t Clarke Quay, went t Le Noir and Attica as usual. I felt so under-dressed with shorts and a tanktop haha. I need t buy new dresses :( I drank relatively alot eventhough my throat was fucked.

And today, i had t go scan my passport for Milan befr meeting Issac. Was pretty fun since we haven't met since forever. We've been friends for about 5 years now, but we kinda drifted apart due t third parties and i am glad we're contacting again now. We played poker and it was so funny cause i kept winning all his chips and then we started annoying people on facebook haha. So im back home now, sitting in th living room with my mum falling asleep while watching th television. I was pretty upset today for a reason i don't really think i should blog about because its too public t do it here i guess. But i might soon.

Oh and yes, can't believe i haven't wished Singapore, so here goes - Happy National Day! Like im that patriotic but whatever. And YES, i am Singaporean. Th oth day i had t show my ID t a group of people who refused t believe im Singaporean. I guess its pretty obvious from th way i converse, no?

One more thing, im pissed off with girls who are basically bitchy. In a sense that, they can never be happy FOR you, th only time they're happy and when they stop hating you is when th limelight and fame is on them. I guess this is life and humanity is just that bitchy.

Being Nice

There comes a time in your life where you realise that being nice consistently just isn't worth it. Firstly, i am never a second choice. So if you wanna be my friend, you talk t me as how usual friends do. Not as a spare tyre and what not. Because those friendships are not worth my time and honestly, i couldn't care less. Because im so use t meeting people who betray me, that having just one genuine friend beats having a group of bitches.

Introductory, that was just my two cents worth. Not smth that happened t me recently, but well close t it. When you initiate th idea of cutting contact, fine. We do that. We get used t it, well i did. And then suddenly you talk t me again. Of course, i never minded it. I went along with it, followed th flow. Because i thought its no harm. Because i wanna be nice. But i think back, and i think wtf? When you wanna stop contacting, i listened and did. And out of no where you wanna talk t me again, i go along with it too. Which makes me th idiot in th situation. But i keep telling myself that its not that way, that i should be nice. But well, im done with being nice and being completely fucked in return. All around, not just by a particular person. I can take it when someone talks bad about me, because i don't really care. But i can't stand it when in a situation, i feel used and that what i believe in does not matter, when us contacting is determined by th oth party and i have no say. Because i am strongly opinionated, and what i say and think matters.

Sunday

stupid videos take so long t upload i gave up :(

Anw hi! Today i had Runway lessons at SPANS. Went home, and then went out for dinner at Paragon and watched Planet of th Apes. Really nice movie actually. Nothing much happened today, th highlight would definitely be getting th call that Milan wants me t send in my passport so i'll be going there in th first week of September for modelling(i sent in my portfolio on Friday)so yeah, we'll see how it goes.

Now i gotta plan my schedule and organise, yes im very organised! Tmrw isn't thaaaat hectic, just casting, photoshoot and another casting.

What a week

GOT MY INTERNET BACK! So this week was hectic. It was supposed t be one of my more free weeks except for th usual castings and stuff. However i got last min assignments and it has not been easy man im so tired my body feels so fucked. Well, it is partially my fault for still partying despite having early mornings.

Th highlight of my week has definitely gotta be B.o.B's Music Video. It was so last min i knew about it only few hours befr. Initially, i was suppose t have a shoot that evening. Obviously balancing out a normal shoot compared t being in B.o.B's MV, th choice is more than obvious.

Before i get started on blogging about it - for idiots who have no clue who B.o.B is, he was featured in Airplanes along side Hayley Williams from Paramore, and sang Nothin' On you feat. Bruno Mars. Well just t name a few.

So for th first scene, Bob sat in between myself and another girl. So while he sang/rapped we were suppose t look all 'seductive' like usual MTV videos hahaha and run all hands down his chest and what not. Not explicit larh, it wasn't as bad as it sounds. And then they took a scene of me feeding him steak hahah. I have never been a fan of him, but boy is he cute!

As for th next scene, we got changed into our bikini as it was filmed in th pool. I was quite excited because i've always wanted t swim at th pool @ MBS SkyPark. Whenever im at Ku De Ta, i have never understood th end of th pool but then i realised there's a ledge and its not freakishly scary or anything. So for that scene it was pretty easy we just surrounded him and danced/laughed while he sang his new song. It was really funny and Bob is super nice he's not like those aloof celebrities and such.

Th best part - this is gonna sound really lame but i swear its 100% true. I was swimming around while waiting for Bob t finish his solo part, when suddenly smth in th sky caught my eye. And guess what, it was a SHOOTING STAR. I.SWEAR. Besides th coincidental shooting star-airplane Hayley Williams ft. Bob song and all, it was so pretty. Like i've never seen a shooting star in my life and that was a first. So what did i do, i made a wish duh!

We got changed after that and of course took pictures with him and his crew.

I feel pretty lucky t have been given th opportunity and it was so fun. And it wouldn't have been possible if not for Serena Adsit - www.mintsingapore.com, my representation.

And so th next day, we got free VIP tickets t Bob's concert. Went with Lydia and i gave Iqbal a ticket too. He was awesome live. I always got goosebumps when people sing really nicely, and i got goosebumps at certain points at his concert. Unfortunately I DID NOT KNOW THAT iPHONE CAMERA HAS A ZOOM so i didn't get good pictures. Did take videos though. Th concert was held at Hard Rock Sentosa @ Th Coliseum. Th Hard Rock Hotel is wicked man.

Iqbal and i went t Clarke Quay after that, partied at Le Noir/Attica. And that was where th torturous ordeal began. Had supper with Cassh, reached home about 6.30am. Slept for an hour as i had castings etc. Partied that day too, which was Thursday and totally impromptu. Ended up at fucking Pure fitness Gym @ Knightsbridge at 6am t sober up and get free Iced Lemon Tea, reached home at about 6 plus in th morning, slept at 8 and woke up at 10 for modeling. Had a meeting with Alex Liu, director of Ms Singapore, took a look at my book and was considering t refer me t Milan for further competitions in September. So we'll see where it goes. Went home after that, met Sufi for dinner at about 8.30pm. And i was so fucking stoned. Thanks for dinner if you're reading this Sufi! Hahah and hope work is not being a bitch t you. Partied after that, reached home at about 5am, woke up at 10. I had an event from 3pm-9pm where i stood for for th whole fuckin 6 hours! Photographer did a mini shoot with me, though she haven't retouched it all yet.

What a week man. Tmrw i gotta wake up early for Catwalk training, Monday im busy and i don't even wanna think about th rest of next week.

I've acquired a new way of falling asleep easily. So talking about sleeping, before I fell asleep ytd I suddenly realized, that ita fucking August already and suddenly I wish I was 16 again. It's just so weird and everything's passing by so fast. It's been rather long since I've pondered upon life and what's in it for me. Moreover, about relationships. I was lying in bed last night, yeah why does all thoughts happen in bed befr you fall asleep. So yeah. And I realized how different my life has been without a relationship. No I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Just, different. No more drama, jealousy, quarrels, trying t get your point across, commitments, being tied down and th list goes on. It's a wonder how 2 people can live their lives tgt, depend so much on one another, do everything possible tgt. But at some point you realize that it may come t an end anytime. That one day it all disintegrates and all you have left from what was once a fairytale, are memories. And yourself. Why do people go into relationships with no thoughts of getting married then. T meet new people? Fair enough. But why can't we be friends for that? I mean th difference between a friendship and relationship is just romance after all. I guess this is just one of th many times I start thinking about life and everything else.