Wake up and live

Im done.

Im done with how life is, my life that is. I don't believe it's bad, i shouldn't be slamming myself. We all have problems. Nothing's ever easy, but we just learn t live with it. We learn t find a way, t adapt. And that's exactly what i should be doing.

This isn't about my family, this isn't about my friends, nor anybody for that matter. It isn't for what i do, what i've done or what i will do. Its about me, for me.

I don't know what i've been doing for at least th past week. But it doesn't matter right now bc it's not what im gonna do in my coming weeks. Yes, im still gonna cry, im still gonna be fucked up. Things may still suck. But it won't get t me. No matter what happens, or what i say and wanna believe in. I can't go against th people i love. I don't know if im fuckin' dumb or its just a positive nature, but i really can't. Even if you're gonna tear apart my whole life right in front of my eyes, im still gonna stick by you. Because you mean everything t me. And without you all this would merely be all but a dream for me. I hate opening up, don't matter it be t my family or anyone else. But what i hate more is when people perceive that trait as me pushing them away from my life. At times, i gotta admit it's true. But really, i just hate th fact of sympathy. I don't believe in self-pity and i think it's a fuckin' waste of time. You may think that opening up t people is just a way of feeling better, of letting th ones you care about into your life. Not t me it isn't.

But no, im not complaining. Its not a quetch. Its just me, and i accept that. We all go through shit. And knowing that, its first-hand evidence at best that we're stronger than what we believe. Where i am in life, testifies that if i was strong enough, i am strong enough. Perhaps even stronger. Right now.