So This Is Christmas,

Not so much like Christmas. I always envisioned th perfect Christmas t be stepping out of my house in trench coats and boots and gloves, surrounded by snow and pretty lights. Warming up at a fire place right next t a Christmas tree, amongst my family and dinner w turkeys and log cakes and th cold air filled w a warm feeling, resonance of laughter and saying grace together. A white Christmas indeed.

But I realized what I hadn't for all those right up t this Christmas. I may not have that all, or a perfect Christmas in nyc. A tradition not very strong here, a bond not really knitted closely. Love isn't in th air, but I know for sure it's within our hearts. It doesn't matter where I am or that I may not be able t sit down w my family for th perfect dinner. That we may not go t church as one or say grace together. We may not speak of love aloud or come together as one, just once even. But I'm so grateful for th roof that eventually reminds us we're family. For love that is unobtrusive but nevertheless I still feel it in all around me.

God could grant me a white Christmas I've dreamed about ever since, but what a Christmas it would be, if I wasn't amongst th ones I love? What's Christmas without everything so intangible? As I grew up, Christmas meant more t me as just another holiday for me t party, surrounded not by tradition but by alcohol. T be in th company of people who didn't really matter as much t me. Then sleep my day away, waking up w th worst hangover, barely remembering my night yet claiming I had th best Christmas ever. A public holiday, t many of us, just another day t party. T me though, it was never exactly w th people I love. Most I didn't know well enough, couldn't recall or never actually met. How could I claim for that t be th best Christmas?

But this Christmas, though I may not be in nyc wearing leather jackets and boots and scarves and what not, I may not have th privilege of a dinner w my family or giving peace during mass t each other, I may not spend th whole of Christmas Day w th love of my life nor sit around a table surrounded by everyone I love. I know for a fact, that it'll be th best Christmas nonetheless. Not all of us could say we have a family stacked up on th traditions of Christmas, but I love my family in their own way. For th love that may not be often mentioned, but still felt in blows of wind. Moreover, filled t th brim w a relationship so lovely, filled w undying love, and all things special.

So what's Christmas without a family that spreads even th most subtle of love under one roof, and th best boyfriend in th world. What is Christmas, if love doesn't fuel such a meaningful day in th Lord's name?