So I really wanted to write even though I don't have much time to right now. It's the first of a new month and I can't afford to waste time anymore. The world waits for no one indeed, and this stupor that I ought to have terminated a long time ago is wearing me thin. When you're raw and exposed to the world, when vulnerability knows you too well, the vultures waste no time in ripping you apart, tearing down your essence even destroying your core. But I've also learnt that the only way they could do it, is when you let them. The world can't change you into something you're not unless you give in to that notion. I don't intend to allow the complexities of my mind to take over this post, not now at least. But to everybody out there who has yet to find they light, or perhaps blocked it out for the most part. You're not meant to feel alone in a place populated by 7 billion. Sometimes the light has always been there, shining waiting to gleam right through your soul. But from my experience, I've always seemed to push it right back, unable to allow even the slightest of it to shine in. We weren't supposed to deny ourselves of happiness though, no. We are meant to embrace it. I'm done pushing away what's rightfully mine this year, 6 months of highs and of lows, 6 months of living at a crossroad just because I couldn't make choices. 6 months too long a time to escape reality blatantly. Now 6 months more I have, to alter every perspective, 6 months of sane and of faith, 6 months to appreciate my reality, 6 months to fight for the things I love. And finally, 6 months ahead to chill the fuck out and let things take it's course. I may be ambivalent and this may be temporary, but nothing changes the fact. I couldn't handle happiness but happiness is really all we should need. Now I'm allowing light to step into my world, whatever I have of it. Because the only constant we can ever cling onto is what many of us are so fearful of - change. But change it is motherfuckers.