Hollow

Meaning t write yesterday morning but i was too torn between embracing a beautiful morning and finishing my book. Finally done reading Catching Fire but i wish th movie was out already. Wishful thinking heh.

I was up at 9am last morning not because i haven't slept th whole night but because i got sufficient sleep for th first time. Took a bath and it felt heavenly. Appreciating th fact that i can turn th knob of a heater and instantly get warm water, never really thought of th simplest things in life, well not so much in third world countries. Th feel of it hitting your bare skin for th first time and see gooseflesh like thigmonasty, that of a sensitive plant reacting t various temperatures. Taking a deep breath and letting it trickle as you watch water droplets form on your body. I fuckin' love it. Th smell of soap, th formation of froth. And then wrapping your torso w a fresh and crisp towel, water still glistening on parts of your skin as th sunlight reflects against it. Getting into clothes that've just came out from th wash, sipping tea that heats your throat and reading a book by th window where th sunshine doesn't penetrate enough t result in parched skin but just right for it t glimmer against human flesh. Delighting.

In contrast, i woke up this morning w a feeling way too familiar. Not only did i have a fucked up dream, but my hallucinations in sleep paralysis returned. Worst part? I never could sleep at night and all that just made it worst because it would mean i don't even wanna try now. Back t being afraid of even falling asleep. Fuck. My. Life.

On my way home yesterday at my neighbourhood, i came across 2 boys, yes boys because they were obviously younger than me who followed me on their bicycle for th distance of about 2 busstops apart. All because their friend wanted t 'get t know me'. So apparently he sent 2 dumb BOYS following me claiming he would whack them if i didn't talk on th phone w him. So one of th boys' passed me his handphone saying th guy, which was hiding somewhere nearby wanted t talk t me or for th very least accept him on facebook and give my number. Seriously? Its fuckin' disgusting how some guys approach a girl they supposedly wanna get t know. Th least you could do is ask her yourself. And i decided t blog about this not because i find joy in sharing my life story but because this shit happens on facebook ever so often and so really, don't fuckin' bother even talking if you don't even have th courtesy of being a decent gentlemen because it is fuckin' gross.

Gotta admit this isn't one of my best posts since i don't even feel a sense of satisfaction after being done. Perhaps i might write more deeply tonight anyway.