Blank

I'm actually pissed off I don't even have dinner tonight, guess I have cigarettes at least fuckin' hell. I'm overwhelmed by th thoughts processing in my mind that I don't even know where t begin.

It's funny how people tell you you're different, and then classify you w th rest according t an assumption. You're th same because I actually have proof, funny you won't see that. But given th assumption you'd make, it only means you haven't done your job well enough then.

It's sad t know I never knew th truth, that someone wouldn't regret doing something they knew would hurt you and you only get t find out th truth months after. And by then, th truth's too late t set me free. It merely adds on. How could someone who claims they love you, not regret doing something that would hurt you? It just doesn't make sense t me.

We say many things we don't mean when we're angry, but when we're angry is when we're at our rawest too. All those things people say t save a beautiful moment, comes clear in an argument.

There's so many things piling up, so many things I don't wish t allow others t decipher. But above all, th most important questions remain - who do I turn t when th only person I ever did turn t let me down? Where do I go at 3 in th morning when I wish I wasn't alone, who do I talk t when I can't handle my mind? They're not there. It's 2:27am and I didn't wanna be alone tonight, I just want th answers t questions I don't wanna ask anymore. I just wanna talk but I can't when all I can find is hostility. I should care but that backfired. I shouldn't expect but we can't help but do that w th ones we love. I could hurt you th same way you have, but not until I learn how you could do it so easily. I've gotten used t nights like these, more than I ever should be. But nobody really gives a fuck as long as they're not in your position. Everybody calls for help, but not many people would help you up when you need it.

Good times, always. Not always anymore when I can say I miss it. When hurt didn't go beyond a point of no return, when we could lie in bed and forget th world. When a hug provided nothing short of safety.

But it's halfway through th night, th worst time possible. I'm not sure about what t do. Whether I should just keep crying or go t bed or do something, anything t escape my mind. No matter which I choose though, I'm still only accompanied by th monsters in my head.