Liquor's Top Shelf

Th same songs always bring me back t th same emotions. And yet I still won't stop listening t them. I'm actually out of words tonight, because they're just th same as all those previous nights. I'm just rephrasing th same feelings each time th sun sets. I feel so uninspired - w myself, w anything that I don't really feel like being here. I was just thinking how my cigarette was lasting forever, when I realized I just butted it out, wtf. Now I'm left w 2 sticks and that feeling of insecurity that my pack is almost empty. What relation it has t life, heh. No matter where I try t navigate, my mind's been stuck on just one thing for more than a week now. And I don't think I'd be going anywhere else anytime soon. Many times I wish I could scream it all out, in hopes of being rescued. But there's no saving, is there. I wish I could look at it in a different light, but my light's all burnt out. Trapped in a darkness I don't wanna be in for once, but I don't have a choice. I feel so stoned I don't even need drugs for that any longer. In a room w red lights and a flickering flame, so calming so tranquil. This place actually feels like a sanctuary for once, not one made up but one for real. But that's only because its chaos in my mind, heaven and hell's apart if you'd compare. This place actually feels peaceful, th closest I can get t serenity when there's a war in my mind. I figured why it can never get better - for some wounds run too deep for th healing. Wounds that never really turn into scars. I'm looking forward t waking up after I fall asleep tonight, only because I can deviate my mind from th usuals by having t write my article. Writing an article is getting t write yet climbing out from th depths of my mind for abit it's practically th best of both worlds and in this state, that pretty much is luxury t me. I wish I could sit down w God and get all th answers and security I've been wanting, or more so needing, my vision is creating all these psychedelic patterns, and I'm disgusted w what I see. Sleep here I come, perhaps?